I'm Mike, I play rugby and I write match reports for giggles and to sometimes go in the paper. Most of them are written as first drafts so apologies if there's typos but I can't be arsed to go back and fix them all...yet. I'm also a Chiropractor and I write occasional articles on health as well as the occasional other fart-arsing. It's very amateur so don't go taking it too seriously!

Saturday, 27 September 2014

OPM v Withycombe

O's Blown Away by Withy First Half Heroics

OPM 10
Withycombe 51
Withycombe's first-half display was enough to get the job done at Elburton, but four yellow cards take the gloss off the latest league five pointer
Another bonus point win keeps Withycombe at the top of the fledgling Cornwall & Devon table, and the strength in depth at Withycombe is really starting to pay dividends: Andrei Toma, Aaron Conway, Adam Morris and Eugene Badenhorst all played for the second team this week after starring in last week's impressive 29-5 win against Bude, and debuts were given to Simon Tozer and Ben Clarke whie Tim Wills and Kevin Rodwell returned to the first team fold.

The Plymothians took the lead with a first-minute penalty but the rest of the half was all one-way traffic. Glenn Channing replied with two penalty goals of his own to make it 6-3 with quarter of an hour on the clock, before the tries started.

The breakthrough came when Withycombe turned defence into attack on 18 minutes. The home side clearly put a lot of eggs in the basket of their big pack;that is, until a driving maul from an OPM lineout in Withycombe territory was manhandled by Jon Axon. The gargantuan Withycombe second row waded into the set maul and emerged with the ball, setting in motion a move which released Sam Conway down the blindside. Just when it loked like Conway was caught with no support metres from the line, he released the ball, got to his feet and picked the ball up again to take two defenders over the line with him in his own show of strength.

OPM then suffered the sin binning of their second row and conceded 14 points while he was off the pitch. First Glenn Channing took advantage of a hole in the home defence to run in virtually untouched, then just a minute later John Parkin's keen eye spotted that no-one was home and his box kick on halfway turned into a jumbo chip-and-chase as he gathered and touched down with no-one within 15 metres of him.
Kevin Rodwell might have scored a similar try on the half hour were it not for the cruellest of bounces, but his inability to gather the ball gave OPM a scrum on their own five metre line. With the home scrum back to full strength, Withycombe turned the ball over and No. 8 Mike Richards went himself for yet another short-range five-pointer to secure the bonus point.

Right before halftime OPM caught the Withycombe defence napping as one of their big lumps picked right through the middle of a ruck and ran in what would turn out to be a consolation try to make the score at the interval 30-10.
In the second half he Plymothians' only hope was to rattle some green and black cages; whilst this produced four Withycombe sin bins, the vistors also ran in three more opportunistic tries whilst keeping their hosts out.

First to cross was debutant Ben Clarke who was on hand for an offload from Joe Parkin following a scrum taken against the head. The young openside showed the defence a clean pair of heels as he raced in from 40 metres out. Twin yellow cards for John Parkin and Jack Pugsley kept Withycombe on the back foot for 15 minutes, but the re-introduction of "club JP" brought about almost instant results; a quickly taken free kick opening the door for Danny Sansom to grab five points. Sam Conway completed the scoring after a quickly taken lineout from Kevin Rodwell gave the Bicton youngster room to run. Conway's sashaying run bamboozled the OPM defenders and Channing kicked his fifth conversion to make it 51-10. Late yellow cards to John Parkin and new Aussie recruit Simon Tozer highlighted a disciplinary "work-on" for Wiithycombe, but the Clubhouse Corner faithful can't ask for much more than played 4, 20 points. Saturday sees unbeaten Crediton make the trip to Hulham Road for a derby game that has "Raleigh Park Classic" written all over it.

Jack Pugsley (YC), Sam Conway (2T), Danny Sansom (1T), Joe Parkin, Kevin Rodwell, Glenn Channing (1T, 5C, 2PG), John Parkin (1T, 2YC), David Wellbeloved, Liam Cullen, Phil Sluman, Jon Axon, Dave Sims, Danny Parry, Ben Clarke (1T), Mike Richards (1T). Reps: Max Cooke, Tim Wills, Simon Tozer (YC).

Monday, 22 September 2014

Withycombe v Bude

Green & Black Overcome Yellow-Stained Bude

Withycombe 29
Bude 5

Withycombe continued their 100% start to the season on Saturday with a bonus-point win against former Western Counties outfit Bude in a bad-tempered clash at Raleigh Park.

After a first-minute penalty from Glenn Channing put the hosts in front, the early exchanges were nip and tuck, with the experienced Bude pack putting Withycombe under pressure they won't have experienced for some time! With last season's captain Dave Richards injured, Fridge Gibbons in Australia and Phil Sluman missing from the front row, Withycombe's front row had an unfamiliar look to it but stood up well. Second generation Withy boy Max Cooke made his first team debut at the tender age of 18 and earned himself a joint man of the match award for his efforts. Bude's bully-boy tactics wouldn't yield any results until half an hour into the game though, when Jon Axon was sent to the sin bin for the latest in a long line of maul offences in the home 22. Bude once again went to the driving maul and crashed over to nudge themselves in front.

14-man Withycombe hit straight back when Glenn Channing barged through the 10 channel and scrambled over from 15 metres out to put Withycombe 8-5 up at half time. 

It turned out to be a textbook game of two halves as Withycombe turned the table on Bude's pack. With a Bude player sent to the sin bin for the same offence and in the same spot as Jon Axon twenty minutes previously, Withycombe's driving maul gave Liam Cullen a try to the rapturous reception of Clubhouse Corner, with Channing nailing the touchline conversion. Bude's frustration began to show as the game wore on; thankfully the home side rose above the nonsense and Bude ended up with 4 yellow cards.

Glenn Channing grabbed his brace on 52 minutes when he again smashed through the fly-half channel and touched down after trying to take the goalpost with him. The conversion put the game beyond Bude and left only the question of whether Withycombe would take maximum points from the game. Dave Wellbeloved answered that question quite emphatically ten minutes later when some fantastic phase play left the giant prop in acres of space near Clubhouse Corner. Channing's miss-pass put "Wellby" over and the fly-half added the conversion to take his personal tally to 19 points.

Withycombe travel to OPMs next weekend with the second team playing the reverse fixture at Raleigh Park.

Withycombe: Jack Pugsley, Sam Conway, Aaron Conway, Joe Parkin, Adam Morris, Glenn Channing (2T, 3C, 1PG, MoM), John Parkin, Max Cooke (YC, MoM), Liam Cullen (1T), Dave Wellbeloved (1T), Jon Axon (YC), Dave Sims, Danny Parry, Andrei Toma, Mike Richards. Reps: Eugene Badenhorst, Terry Mears, Danny Sansom.

Monday, 15 September 2014

Withycombe v Liskeard-Looe

Withycombe 67
Liskeard-Looe 0

It looks like a long season in store for whipping boys Liskeard after they succumbed to their second drubbing in as many weeks at the hands of Withycombe.


It was clear from the start that the visitors would struggle when a scrum lost against the head led to a Withycombe break down the blind side, Adam Morris setting the platform for fly-half Lee Tanton to score the opener. Not one minute later the advantage had been doubled as another scrum lost against the head gave Joe Parkin the impetus to chip ahead, the ball sitting up just in time for brother John Parkin to dot down.

It was not long before Withycombe bothered the scoreboard again, this time from their own scrum. An inside pass to John Parkin put the Withycombe skipper in behind the visitors' defence, Parkin then dispatching the simple 2-on-1 to put Adam Morris in for the try. Lee Tanton converted to make it 17-0. Liskeard fought back temporarily, applying pressure in the Withycombe half until a Joe Parkin interception was returned all the way from the home 22 and seemed to break the visitors' spirit as the bonus point was secured inside 17 minutes.
Withycombe then scored twice through No. 8 Mike Richards before the half time whistle to firmly put the result beyond doubt. First came a trademark pop 'n' flop after a blindside break from Andrei Toma, then an armchair ride of a pushover scrum with the monstrous figures of Jon Axon and Dave Sims and the front row of Dave Wellbeloved, Dave Richards and Liam Cullen making things comfortable.

The second half saw more one-way traffic as Withycombe wasted no time getting the scoreboard ticking again. Jack Pugsley's return from the wilderness has proved time well spent; his second-half appearance from the bench brought him 18 points and it was his break that set off the scoring. His offload saw Adam Morris make good ground before threading his return pass between the backtracking defence to send Pugsley clear. Straight from the kickoff Withycombe were in again, Phil Sluman's rumble setting the platform for another Joe Parkin assist for brother John to touch down. 

A set move from the Withycombe scrum provided the next score as supersub Danny Parry crashed over from close range, before Pugsley bagged his brace. Richard Hodges had gone close before dropping the ball on the line, only for Withycombe to win the ball back at the scrum; the ball went directly to Pugsley who took the most direct route to the line possible. Withycombe wrapped up the scoring in fitting fashion as man of the match Dave Wellbeloved bulldozed over from 5 metres out, carrying half the hapless Liskeard defence with him.

Withycombe's points difference has shot them to the top of the league after their first two games against promoted sides, but former Western Counties outfit Bude promise to be a different proposition at Raleigh Park next week.

Withycombe: Leo Hood, Adam Morris (1T), Aaron Conway, Joe Parkin (1T), Andrei Toma, Lee Tanton (1T, 2C), John Parkin (2T), Dave Wellbeloved (1T, MoM), Dave Richards, Liam Cullen, Jon Axon, Dave Sims, Terry Mears, Richard Hodges, Mike Richards (2T). Reps: Phil Sluman, Danny Parry (1T), Jack Pugsley (2T, 4C).

Monday, 8 September 2014

Withycombe v Bodmin

Withycombe 26
Bodmin 15

Withycombe have much to be hopeful for as a rusty performance was still enough to comfortably earn them a bonus-point victory against a determined Bodmin side.

The Cornwall & Devon new boys were full of vim following ther 40-point demolition job on local rivals Liskeard in the Cornwall Cup last week, but ran into rather stiffer opposition at Raleigh Park. After an early penalty opportunity sailed wide, Bodmin didn't really worry the scorekeepers until the end of the half. WIthycombe were industrious but lacking a finishing touch for much of the opening exchanges, despite having the upper hand at the set piece.

After 20 minutes the early season jitters settled somewhat when a simple set piece move cut the Bodmin defence wide open for Adam Morris to open the scoring under the posts. Glenn Channing converted, but that would be as good as Withycombe got until the second half. Bodmin slotted a penalty on 38 minutes to close the gap to 7-3, before Withycombe's best move of the match took them half the length of the pitch with half a dozen offloads, but the lack of a decisive edge showed again as the move came to nothing.

The result was all but decided after two minutes of action that effectively put Bodmin to bed. First, Glenn Channing threw two dummies and found himself in acres of space 40 metres from the Bodmin line. Like a dog waking itself up with a fart, Channing was more startled than the onlookers and just ran, his diesel-powered engine taking him under the posts. Then, from the kickoff Withycombe moved the ball wide early and a characteristic John Parkin break feeding Kev Rodwell before Aaron Conway finished the score. Channing again converted to make it 21-3 with 47 minutes gone.

It should have been plain sailing from there, but Withycombe's indiscipline had them pinned back in their own half. Terry Mears was sent to the sin bin for a late tackle, and while he was away Bodmin's backs used the territorial advantage to finally put the ball through the hands, making some space out wide and scoring in the corner to make it 21-8 with ten minutes remaining. Withycombe hit back with a quick tap penalty from John Parkin, with some clever hands giving Mears a chance to redeem his yellow card by scoring the bonus point try. Bodmin had a reply of their own with another well-worked backs try after their attempt at a lineout drive was stymied. With Bodmin chasing a losing bonus point in the dying seconds, Withycombe almost managed a breakaway try after a loose ball was hacked on but the chasers were too slow for Bodmin's covering full back. If Withycombe can build on this performance then improvement on last season's third place could be a realistic target. Next week Raleigh Park sees the 1st XV host Liskeard-Looe.


Danny Sansom, Kev Rodwell, Aaron Conway (1T), Joe Parkin (MoM), Adam Morris (1T), Glenn Channing (1T3C), John Parkin, David Wellbeloved, Dave Richards, Liam Cullen, Dave Sims, Jon Axon, Danny Parry, Terry Mears (1T, YC), Richard Hodges. Reps: Andrei Toma, Mike Richards, Leo Hood.