I'm Mike, I play rugby and I write match reports for giggles and to sometimes go in the paper. Most of them are written as first drafts so apologies if there's typos but I can't be arsed to go back and fix them all...yet. I'm also a Chiropractor and I write occasional articles on health as well as the occasional other fart-arsing. It's very amateur so don't go taking it too seriously!

Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Withycombe v Pirates Amateurs

14-Man Withy Show Their Mettle

Withycombe survived a potential banana skin with a mature performance to take the maximum points against fourth-placed Pirates Amateurs at the weekend

With Phil Sluman and Dave Sims out with bizarre long-term injuries, and a concussion-depleted front row, the visit from Penzance's finest would be a true test of Withycombe's strength in depth. A test that was made no easier thanks to Mike Richards' early indiscipline, sent to the sin bin for being caught punching with just ten minutes gone. The home side would have to prove themselves good at playing with depleted nmbers, and it showed early as the Green & Black took a 3-0 lead through Tom Steer's boot in Richards' absence.

With the home scrum dominant, Pirates found it hard going and fell further behind when the ball squirted out of the back of a backpedalling scrum on their own five metre line, only for John Parkin to pounce and pick up five points. Steer's conversion made it 10-0. The visitors fought their way back into the game but Withycombe would soon be under more pressure; first Andy Matchett was sin binned for being the latest in a string of breakdown offenders, before Connor Gilby was red carded five minutes before the half for throwing a punch in retaliation.

Withycombe made it to the break and to Matchett's reintroduction without the visitors troubling the scoreboard, but there were six minutes that gave the Raleigh Park faithful cause to be concerned as Pirates scored two tries in quick succession to claw their way back to 15-10 with 15 minutes remaining. Withy buckled under and the pressure eventually began to show as the home rolling maul started paying dividends. With both of the Pirates second rows sent to the sin bin for disrupting the maul illegally, the lineout call was a no-brainer; Chris Gibbons scoring the try from the resulting maul. With the game in the bag, Pirates were looking to snag a bonus point but kicked the reversed restart to entirely the wrong person as Andy Matchett stormed 60 metres up the field to score the bonus point try to the cheers of Clubhouse Corner; a fine way to cap his man-of-the-match performance. Withycombe travel to Falmout next week for a tricky fixture before the visit of leaders Saltash to Raleigh Park on the 7th March.

Withycombe: Will Hockin, Andy Matchett (1T, YC, MoM), Tom Counsell, Dave Passmore, Terry Mears, Tom Steer (1T, 1C 1P), John Parkin (1T), Chris Gibbons (1T), Eugene Badenhorst, Liam Cullen, Jon Axon, Tim Wills, Ben Clark, Connor Gilby (RC), Mike Richards (YC). Reps: Max Cooke, Matt Bragg, Jack Pugsley.

Monday, 16 February 2015

Withycombe v Gordano (RFU Senior Vase)

Swindon Trip Beckons for Cup Heroes

Withycombe travel to Swindon College Old Boys on 14th March after dumping Gordano out of the Vase in bruising encounter at Raleigh Park

A confident Gordano side brought two coachloads of supporters down to cheer on the Somerset Premier table toppers, but Withycombe's defence proved to be the key in an attritional Westcountry battle.

Withycombe had the better of the early exchanges and after a missed penalty on three minutes, three collapsed scrums close to the Gordano line had the referee marching under the posts and Withycombe were 7-0 up. The scoreboard wouldn't be troubled for another hour but to say the game lacked action would be well wide of the mark. Withycombe were pinned in their own half for most of the remainder of the half, Gordano's big forwards throwing themselves at the punishing Withycombe defence time and again but to no avail, which seemed to suit man of the match Eugene Badenhorst just fine. The visitors missed a couple of very kickable penalty shots at goal but otherwise created scant scoring opportunities.

The second half picked up where the first left off, with the sticky conditions dictating the style of play. Gordano managed the conditions better than Withycombe on balance but lacked a finishing edge, whilst Withycombe showed flashes of brilliance with the ball which werre all too short-lived as uncharacteristic knock-ons cut short an ambitious offload game. Once the hosts got their heads around the conditions they started to make some inroads. Once Glenn Channing had missed a couple of penalty shots at goal, Withycombe's forwards put the result beyond all likely doubt with a driven try on 70 minutes for Romanian flanker Andrei "The Bison" Toma. The sense of relief was palpable, and perhaps the players took their foot off the gas too soon.

Gordano wasted no time in taking advantage of the relaxed atmosphere by scoring a try in the corner, but the missed conversion left them needing to score twice more in seven minutes to clinch the game. A Channing penalty four minutes later meant that would have to be two tries in two minutes, and although they snatched one, the final whistle went after the missed conversion attempt and Withycombe were through to the South West Divisional Final of the Senior Vase.

Withycombe: Jack Pugsley, Andy Matchett, Dave Passmore, Joe Parkin, Terry Mears, Glenn Channing (2C, 1P), John Parkin, Chris Gibbons, Dave Richards, Liam Cullen, Jon Axon, Tim Wills, Andrei Toma (1T), Eugene Badenhorst, Mike Richards. Reps: Sam Manning, Ben Clark, Connor Gilby, Danny Parry, Kev Rodwell, Will Hockin, Tom Steer.

Tuesday, 10 February 2015

Exeter Saracens v Withycombe

Withy Keep Pressure on Leaders

Bonus point victory keeps Withy in the hunt


The Parkin family dominated proceedings at Exhibition Field this past Saturday as brothers John and Joe scored all five of Withycombe's tries and dad Shaun even scampered on for what will surely (hopefully!) be his last ever first team appearance.

After just 6 minutes Joe opened the account with a left scrum pick and some quick hands opened up the space on the blindside. Withycombe's phase play had much to be admired, but the finishing touch was not among it! With 20 minutes on the board Saracens nabbed a breakaway try very much against the run of play but missed the conversion from underneath the posts to leave the score level. Withycombe restored the balance immediately as Joe Parkin's break put his brother in for the first of his four tries. It would be just before half time before Withycombe scored again, this time John sidestepping his way over from a blindside scrum move.


The second half crreid on in much the same fashion as the first; lots of industry from Withycombe's hard working pack but littel to show for it in the way of points. Joe Parkin saw yellow with 6 minutes on the clock after one of many niggles boiled over, but this was not enough to disrupt Withycombe's sound defences. The only question was whether or not they would leave with a bonus point, and with 13 minutes to go John Parkin ensured they did with an impressive solo break which put the visitors out of all likely reach at 22-5. Saracens scored with five minutes remaining to make things interesting, but skipper John rounded off his and Withycombe's scoring for the day under the posts to seal the result. Withycombe host Bristol's Gordano in the RFU Senior Vase South West Semi Final next week. Kickoff will be 2pm rather than the usual 2:30.

Withycombe: Will Hockin, Terry Mears, Tom Counsell, Dave Passmore, Joe Parkin (1T, YC), Jack Pugsley (2C), John Parkin (4T), Chris Gibbons, Dave Richards, Liam Cullen, Mark Wilkinson, Tim Wills, Andrei Toma, Eugene Badenhorst, Mike Richards. Reps: Max Cooke, Shaun Parkin, Ben Clarke.

Monday, 2 February 2015

Withycombe v Paignton

Withy run the Paign Train

Bonus point eludes Withycombe as slippery conditions make tries hard to come by

Withycombe 17
Paignton 5

Withycombe caretaker Pete Farley had his hands full this week, but despite his best efforts, atrocious conditions at Raleigh Park dominated proceedings as two sides who tried to play rugby were hamstrung by the muddy conditions.

Paignton would come to rue their early penalty miss as from the ensuing 22 dropout, Joe Parkin intercepted a pass to run 70 metres all on his own to the Brook End to open the scoring against the run of play. Both sides found momentum hard to come by in an epic physical battle, with both sets of enormous forwards throwing themselves at each other for little gain. Tim Wills finally came of age as the late adopter won the man of the match award for his contributions in the heart of the attritional battles.

The sides turned around at 7-0 just as the hailstorm set in, and once Jon Axon returned from the sin bin a couple of minutes later, Withycombe found their groove in the ten minute spell that would seal the match. The pack began to dominate and stated their intent by rolling a maul 30 metres for Liam Cullen to dive over in Clubhouse Corner, a place which is fast becoming the Cheddar Man's spiritual home. Then eight minutes later with one of the Paignton second rows in the sin bin, at the 3rd five metre scrum of asking Mike Richards scored his customary no-effort try on the back of the efforts of his front five.

In the last quarter Paignton upped their game and Withycombe's attack lost its rhythm; not even the introduction of Dave Smashmore himself could get the Green & Black into the opposition half, and Paignton got their reward with a try with the game's last action. Though disappointing not to get the five points, Paignton are a side who will surely cause headaches for the other leading sides in the league; four points is no mean feat. Withycombe travel to Exeter Saracens next week before welcoming Gordano to Raliegh Park on the 14th in the RFU Senior Vase.

Withycombe: Jack Pugsley, Andy Matchett, Joe Parkin (1T), Tom Counsell, Terry Mears, Will Hockin, John Parkin, Chris Gibbons, Liam Cullen (1T), Sam Manning, Jon Axon (YC), Tim Wills (MoM), Andrei Toma, Eugene Badenhorst, Mike Richards (1T). Reps: Dan Carey, Dave Passmore, Glenn Channing (1C).

Monday, 19 January 2015

Crediton v Withycombe

Dad's Army Fall Short at Kirton

Withycombe's old guard let victory slip through their fingers at fiercest rivals

Crediton 21
Withycombe 18

Withycombe put their promotion hopes in the hands of the top two as Crediton escaped with victory in a highly-charged encounter on Saturday.

With conditions at Exhibition Road more suited to bog snorkelling than rugby union the game threatened to turn into a shambles but both teams looked to play rugby as much as possible. Withycombe's pack was unsurprisingly their biggest weapon and twice in the first half hour the visitors' hard work to put themselves in front was for nought as Crediton hit back with penalties just minutes later. With Crediton captain Mark Nott finally seeing yellow, a rolling maul just before half time gave Mike Richards his now customary five pointer, Glenn Channing converting to put Withycombe 13-6 up. Withy would once again shoot themselves in the foot as from the ensuing kickoff Crediton won themselves a penalty to claw back another three points.

The home side came out in the second half with their tails up, and a strong rolling maul gave them the field position for a set of pick and go drives to score by the posts. The game was very much tit for tat and though Withycombe might be able to console themselves with playing the better rugby, they struggled to make enough ground in the territory game which was proving crucial in the conditions. With 15 minutes to go they worked themselves a lineout close to the Crediton line and Dave Richards claimed some karmic retribution for the punch in the first half by crashing over to put Withy's nose back in front, perhaps by virtue of Richards' being twice its normal XL size.

Just four minutes later Crediton would break Withycombe hearts by turning the ball over at the end of a very short advantage, running the ball back all the way to the try line to put themselves three points in front. With eleven minutes remaining the stuffing had all but been knocked out of Withycombe's spirit but somehow they found the strength to work their way back up the field and gain a lineout five metres from Crediton's line. With Jon Axon pulled down in the air, skipper John Parkin had no interest in the draw and went straight back to the lineout but a fumbled catch gifted possession to Crediton and the game was over.


Next week Withycombe welcome Saltash to Raleigh Park for an RFU Junior Vase fixture, the final of which will take place at Twickenham.

Withycombe: Jack Pugsley, Kev Rodwell, Joe Parkin, Dave Passmore, Andy Matchett, Glenn Channing (1C, 2P), John Parkin, Phil Sluman, Dave Richards (1T), Liam Cullen, Matt Bragg, Jon Axon, Andrei Toma, Eugene Badenhorst, Mike Richards (1T). Reps: Sam Manning, Connor Gilby, Tom Counsell.

Monday, 12 January 2015

Bude v Withycombe (3-1-15)

Bude 14
Withycombe 7
 
Withycombe's promotion hopes took a knock in atrocious conditions at Bude on Saturday.
There was little to write home about as two enormous packs traded punches for twenty minutes until the scoring was inevitably opened by a rolling maul under the Withycombe posts. With scores hard to come by, Bude's lead took on added significance and Withycombe were almost having too chase the game. The ball in hand was a liability and Withycombe's territory game left something to be desired, although they spent the final ten minutes of the half knocking at the door in the Bude 22.
With the emphasis in the half time team talk laid squarely on scoring first and getting back into the game, Glenn Channing's early missed penalty proved costly as Bude promptly marched up the pitch and scored their second try, the impressive touchline conversion putting victory three scores from the visitors. After twenty minutes of effort and a Bude yellow card for persistent offending, Joe Parkin scampered through the defence to get Withycombe back into the game with ten minutes to go, but the Green & Black couldn't repeat the trick and the game slipped away. Struggling OPM visit Withycombe this Saturday.

Withycombe: Jack Pugsley, Will Hockin, Joe Parkin (1T), Andrei Toma, Terry Mears, Glenn Channing (1C), John Parkin, Chris Gibbons, Dave Richards, Phil Sluman, Dave Sims, Jon Axon, Connor Gilby, Simon Tozer, Mike Richards. Reps: Sam Manning, Tim WIlls, Kevin Rodwell.

Withycombe v OPM

Withycombe 66
OPM 20

Withycombe prepared for next weekend's crunch clash with Crediton by thumping OPMs after a stunning 49-point second half.

The match started prmisingly enough for the Green & Black; OPM not even getting a touch of the ball until after Fridge Gibbons had walked over the tryline at the back of a rolling maul on six minutes. Withycombe's eagerness to play cost them as the visitors kicked a penalty after three minutes of scrappy play in the Withycombe half, but the hosts got back on track on twenty minutes when Joe Parkin took advantage of some indecision in the OPM backfield, catching Jack Pugsley's high ball and running in untouched from 20 metres. Once again Withycombe would concede immediately, this time a wind-assisted penalty kick from the 10m line.

Just two minutes later the visitors missed another penalty from a bit further out, and after ten minutes of ordinary play, some lax defending in the Withycombe midfield allowed the Plymothians under the posts to nudge themselves ahead 13-12. The celebrations wouldn't last long as Glenn Channing's show-and-go from quick lineout ball put Joe Parkin in for his second on half time. The second half would be a completely diffferent affair, although it took ten minutes for the floodgates to open. 

Simon Tozer's introduction from the bench provided plenty of impetus, and it was his big "don't argue" fend that set the counter attack in motion that saw fellow benchwarmer Will Hockin score his first ever try for Withycombe, a neat sidestep flummoxing the defending full back on his way under the posts. Hockin would be involved again a few minutes later as a first phase backs move put Kev Rodwell in the corner, with Glenn Channing nailing the touchline conversion to keep up his perfect second half. Channing followed that with yet another show and go under the posts, before debutant Tom Counsell finally got just reward for his sterling running lines; Joe Parkin set the break in motion, offloading to the tireless Tozer who put Counsell away. Three minutes later Joe Parkin once again turned provider, brother John finishing off another long range try following a tap penalty. Parkin Jr's man-of-the-match performance was capped shortly afterwardswith a deft grubber kick as he was bundled out of bounds that left Will Hockin with the easiest of finishes for his brace. Terry Mears wrapped up the Withycombe scoring with a solo kick return from his own half, before OPM had the last word with a consolation try.

Withycombe: Jack Pugsley, Terry Mears (1T), Joe Parkin (2T, MoM), Tom Counsell (1T), Kevin Rodwell (1T), Glenn Channing (1T, 8C), John Parkin (1T), Chris Gibbons (1T), Dave Richards, Liam Cullen, Jon Axon, Tim Wills, Andrei Toma, Eugene Badenhorst, Connor Gilby. Reps: Sam Manning, Simon Tozer, Will Hockin (2T)