I'm Mike, I play rugby and I write match reports for giggles and to sometimes go in the paper. Most of them are written as first drafts so apologies if there's typos but I can't be arsed to go back and fix them all...yet. I'm also a Chiropractor and I write occasional articles on health as well as the occasional other fart-arsing. It's very amateur so don't go taking it too seriously!

Tuesday, 24 February 2015

Withycombe v Pirates Amateurs

14-Man Withy Show Their Mettle

Withycombe survived a potential banana skin with a mature performance to take the maximum points against fourth-placed Pirates Amateurs at the weekend

With Phil Sluman and Dave Sims out with bizarre long-term injuries, and a concussion-depleted front row, the visit from Penzance's finest would be a true test of Withycombe's strength in depth. A test that was made no easier thanks to Mike Richards' early indiscipline, sent to the sin bin for being caught punching with just ten minutes gone. The home side would have to prove themselves good at playing with depleted nmbers, and it showed early as the Green & Black took a 3-0 lead through Tom Steer's boot in Richards' absence.

With the home scrum dominant, Pirates found it hard going and fell further behind when the ball squirted out of the back of a backpedalling scrum on their own five metre line, only for John Parkin to pounce and pick up five points. Steer's conversion made it 10-0. The visitors fought their way back into the game but Withycombe would soon be under more pressure; first Andy Matchett was sin binned for being the latest in a string of breakdown offenders, before Connor Gilby was red carded five minutes before the half for throwing a punch in retaliation.

Withycombe made it to the break and to Matchett's reintroduction without the visitors troubling the scoreboard, but there were six minutes that gave the Raleigh Park faithful cause to be concerned as Pirates scored two tries in quick succession to claw their way back to 15-10 with 15 minutes remaining. Withy buckled under and the pressure eventually began to show as the home rolling maul started paying dividends. With both of the Pirates second rows sent to the sin bin for disrupting the maul illegally, the lineout call was a no-brainer; Chris Gibbons scoring the try from the resulting maul. With the game in the bag, Pirates were looking to snag a bonus point but kicked the reversed restart to entirely the wrong person as Andy Matchett stormed 60 metres up the field to score the bonus point try to the cheers of Clubhouse Corner; a fine way to cap his man-of-the-match performance. Withycombe travel to Falmout next week for a tricky fixture before the visit of leaders Saltash to Raleigh Park on the 7th March.

Withycombe: Will Hockin, Andy Matchett (1T, YC, MoM), Tom Counsell, Dave Passmore, Terry Mears, Tom Steer (1T, 1C 1P), John Parkin (1T), Chris Gibbons (1T), Eugene Badenhorst, Liam Cullen, Jon Axon, Tim Wills, Ben Clark, Connor Gilby (RC), Mike Richards (YC). Reps: Max Cooke, Matt Bragg, Jack Pugsley.

Monday, 16 February 2015

Withycombe v Gordano (RFU Senior Vase)

Swindon Trip Beckons for Cup Heroes

Withycombe travel to Swindon College Old Boys on 14th March after dumping Gordano out of the Vase in bruising encounter at Raleigh Park

A confident Gordano side brought two coachloads of supporters down to cheer on the Somerset Premier table toppers, but Withycombe's defence proved to be the key in an attritional Westcountry battle.

Withycombe had the better of the early exchanges and after a missed penalty on three minutes, three collapsed scrums close to the Gordano line had the referee marching under the posts and Withycombe were 7-0 up. The scoreboard wouldn't be troubled for another hour but to say the game lacked action would be well wide of the mark. Withycombe were pinned in their own half for most of the remainder of the half, Gordano's big forwards throwing themselves at the punishing Withycombe defence time and again but to no avail, which seemed to suit man of the match Eugene Badenhorst just fine. The visitors missed a couple of very kickable penalty shots at goal but otherwise created scant scoring opportunities.

The second half picked up where the first left off, with the sticky conditions dictating the style of play. Gordano managed the conditions better than Withycombe on balance but lacked a finishing edge, whilst Withycombe showed flashes of brilliance with the ball which werre all too short-lived as uncharacteristic knock-ons cut short an ambitious offload game. Once the hosts got their heads around the conditions they started to make some inroads. Once Glenn Channing had missed a couple of penalty shots at goal, Withycombe's forwards put the result beyond all likely doubt with a driven try on 70 minutes for Romanian flanker Andrei "The Bison" Toma. The sense of relief was palpable, and perhaps the players took their foot off the gas too soon.

Gordano wasted no time in taking advantage of the relaxed atmosphere by scoring a try in the corner, but the missed conversion left them needing to score twice more in seven minutes to clinch the game. A Channing penalty four minutes later meant that would have to be two tries in two minutes, and although they snatched one, the final whistle went after the missed conversion attempt and Withycombe were through to the South West Divisional Final of the Senior Vase.

Withycombe: Jack Pugsley, Andy Matchett, Dave Passmore, Joe Parkin, Terry Mears, Glenn Channing (2C, 1P), John Parkin, Chris Gibbons, Dave Richards, Liam Cullen, Jon Axon, Tim Wills, Andrei Toma (1T), Eugene Badenhorst, Mike Richards. Reps: Sam Manning, Ben Clark, Connor Gilby, Danny Parry, Kev Rodwell, Will Hockin, Tom Steer.

Tuesday, 10 February 2015

Exeter Saracens v Withycombe

Withy Keep Pressure on Leaders

Bonus point victory keeps Withy in the hunt


The Parkin family dominated proceedings at Exhibition Field this past Saturday as brothers John and Joe scored all five of Withycombe's tries and dad Shaun even scampered on for what will surely (hopefully!) be his last ever first team appearance.

After just 6 minutes Joe opened the account with a left scrum pick and some quick hands opened up the space on the blindside. Withycombe's phase play had much to be admired, but the finishing touch was not among it! With 20 minutes on the board Saracens nabbed a breakaway try very much against the run of play but missed the conversion from underneath the posts to leave the score level. Withycombe restored the balance immediately as Joe Parkin's break put his brother in for the first of his four tries. It would be just before half time before Withycombe scored again, this time John sidestepping his way over from a blindside scrum move.


The second half crreid on in much the same fashion as the first; lots of industry from Withycombe's hard working pack but littel to show for it in the way of points. Joe Parkin saw yellow with 6 minutes on the clock after one of many niggles boiled over, but this was not enough to disrupt Withycombe's sound defences. The only question was whether or not they would leave with a bonus point, and with 13 minutes to go John Parkin ensured they did with an impressive solo break which put the visitors out of all likely reach at 22-5. Saracens scored with five minutes remaining to make things interesting, but skipper John rounded off his and Withycombe's scoring for the day under the posts to seal the result. Withycombe host Bristol's Gordano in the RFU Senior Vase South West Semi Final next week. Kickoff will be 2pm rather than the usual 2:30.

Withycombe: Will Hockin, Terry Mears, Tom Counsell, Dave Passmore, Joe Parkin (1T, YC), Jack Pugsley (2C), John Parkin (4T), Chris Gibbons, Dave Richards, Liam Cullen, Mark Wilkinson, Tim Wills, Andrei Toma, Eugene Badenhorst, Mike Richards. Reps: Max Cooke, Shaun Parkin, Ben Clarke.

Monday, 2 February 2015

Withycombe v Paignton

Withy run the Paign Train

Bonus point eludes Withycombe as slippery conditions make tries hard to come by

Withycombe 17
Paignton 5

Withycombe caretaker Pete Farley had his hands full this week, but despite his best efforts, atrocious conditions at Raleigh Park dominated proceedings as two sides who tried to play rugby were hamstrung by the muddy conditions.

Paignton would come to rue their early penalty miss as from the ensuing 22 dropout, Joe Parkin intercepted a pass to run 70 metres all on his own to the Brook End to open the scoring against the run of play. Both sides found momentum hard to come by in an epic physical battle, with both sets of enormous forwards throwing themselves at each other for little gain. Tim Wills finally came of age as the late adopter won the man of the match award for his contributions in the heart of the attritional battles.

The sides turned around at 7-0 just as the hailstorm set in, and once Jon Axon returned from the sin bin a couple of minutes later, Withycombe found their groove in the ten minute spell that would seal the match. The pack began to dominate and stated their intent by rolling a maul 30 metres for Liam Cullen to dive over in Clubhouse Corner, a place which is fast becoming the Cheddar Man's spiritual home. Then eight minutes later with one of the Paignton second rows in the sin bin, at the 3rd five metre scrum of asking Mike Richards scored his customary no-effort try on the back of the efforts of his front five.

In the last quarter Paignton upped their game and Withycombe's attack lost its rhythm; not even the introduction of Dave Smashmore himself could get the Green & Black into the opposition half, and Paignton got their reward with a try with the game's last action. Though disappointing not to get the five points, Paignton are a side who will surely cause headaches for the other leading sides in the league; four points is no mean feat. Withycombe travel to Exeter Saracens next week before welcoming Gordano to Raliegh Park on the 14th in the RFU Senior Vase.

Withycombe: Jack Pugsley, Andy Matchett, Joe Parkin (1T), Tom Counsell, Terry Mears, Will Hockin, John Parkin, Chris Gibbons, Liam Cullen (1T), Sam Manning, Jon Axon (YC), Tim Wills (MoM), Andrei Toma, Eugene Badenhorst, Mike Richards (1T). Reps: Dan Carey, Dave Passmore, Glenn Channing (1C).