The weekend of the 4th of May just passed saw the second annual AECC RFC Rugby tour. Following on from last year’s victory at the Withycombe 7s in Exmouth, the boys this year decided to travel to Bath Spa University, to take on the cream of the South West’s rugby talent.
The weekend began with a convoy trip to Bristol, and a quick round of golf. I say quick, but a better way to describe this occasion would be “embarrassingly brief” (a phrase all to often heard over the course of the weekend.) After four epic holes of golf, the winners turned out to be the unlikely pairing of “Bean” Waller and “Tots” Tottle. This may or may not be owed to the fact that it was raining and the winners were decided by bicep girth.
Following the golf and some fantastic barbecue food, accompanied by some of Mrs Bean’s excellent cooking, some refreshing beverages were consumed and the lads proceeded to introduce themselves to Bristol town centre.
The following morning, the team were joined by Dr Angelo Battiston. Some of you may know Dr Battiston as the new proud South African rugby fan, who does a spot of tutoring at the college in his spare time. Dr B turned up just in time for breakfast, cooked courtesy of the more than adequate Laurence “Delia” Plant, to the general pleasing of everybody. Whilst the team sat and waited for the pretty boys to get up and do their make-up, Dr Battiston charged ahead into Bath with some directions, which certainly weren’t the doing of Mike Richards.
The team arrived (following a short detour) at the 7s tournament only a little bit late, and just in time for their first game. After a slow start, the FA Badgers were vanquished 17-5 with two tries from Antoine Helsen and a converted try from “Tots” Tottle. This was followed by impressive victories (beating UWN RFC 24-5 and the Rolle Rats 41-14.) Halfway through the tournament, and thanks to the outstanding revised directions provided by Mike Richards, Dr Battiston joined the boys, with a supporter’s flag and years of Chiropractic expertise. This was key in his treatment of the players’ niggles (ankles are a specialty.) The AECC went on to win their following two games, and were looking like favourites until their last pool game, which sadly finished 33-12 to the opposition. This still meant the team finished top of the pool, though, sending them to a final showdown against a team of very unpopular men from Bath Academy.
The final started out tough, and continued in an extremely tough vein for long periods of the game, mostly consisting of the boys conceding tries. With minutes to go, scrum ball in a central position, Tom White took control of the (rather malcoordinated) situation, and slotted a drop goal to the cheers of everyone not supporting the opposition (everyone.) Had the final whistle gone then, the boys probably would have left contented, but there was yet more in the tank. Quick turnover ball in the Academy 22, and some neat Joe Frost footwork opened up a space for Tots Tottle to race under the posts. Second place would have to do for the boys in blue, though.
At the end of the tournament, Antoine Helsen emerged as top scorer, bagging an impressive five tries. Helsen frequently presented opposing teams with a paradox: he is the slowest quick man perhaps to ever have played rugby. Teams may have scoffed at his running style, but this was always tempered by their crippling inability to do anything about it. Though he didn’t score, in between his hibernatory periods, the remarkably hungover Iain Crombie was like an angry bear, winning turnovers and making tries for his team-mates all day. Except when he was sleeping. Joe Frost finished with three tries and a conversion, including one spectacular length-of-the-field amble against the Rolle Rats. Ricky Davis finished the day with three tries, three conversions, the unlikeliest bosh the AECC has ever seen, and probably the cleanest kit. Other teams were fortunate that “Tots” Tottle appeared to be having a quiet day, keeping his all-encompassing guns holstered, though he did occasionally get angry, and finished the day with three tries and two conversions. It is said that the birth of “Tots” Tottle, and the birth of “Tots” Tottle alone, was responsible for the end of the cold war. The teams at Bath Spa Uni would not disagree.
Never ones to dwell on bad news, the team descended on their hostel in preparation of a night of singing, games and good times at in the Student’s Union Bar and in Bath town centre. And nothing bad happened. Honest.
Thanks for listening, from the lads:
“AECC RFC: Not bad for a touch team”
Scorers: Helsen 5T; Davis 3T 3C; Tottle 3T, 2C; Frost 3T 1C; White 1T, 1C, 1DG; Buffery 1T.
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