I'm Mike, I play rugby and I write match reports for giggles and to sometimes go in the paper. Most of them are written as first drafts so apologies if there's typos but I can't be arsed to go back and fix them all...yet. I'm also a Chiropractor and I write occasional articles on health as well as the occasional other fart-arsing. It's very amateur so don't go taking it too seriously!

Monday, 12 November 2012

BUCS: AECC RFC v Bath Uni 4s (March 2011)


AECC RFC 24
Forrest 3T, Davis 1T, Pollard 2C
University of Bath 4th XV 27
AECC Squad: Stroon, Bignell, Buzza, Forrest, Horne, Conlay, Cheggers, Le Roux, Bateman, Frost, Tintin, Stephenson, Ryan, Davis, Pollard. Subs: Crombie, Matthews, Jaskulski, Endler. Management: Richards, McMahon.

23rd February 2011. The AECC face their biggest ever challenge: a top-of-the-table clash which would surely prove to be a title decider. This one was so big that even last year's fan favourite Luke "Cheggers" Pegna travelled down from london, all special like, just to play for the Chiros (just one of the many reasons we like the chap). Some early pressure gave Dan Pollard an early penalty chance. That was to be the last high point for a while, sadly. With Joe Frost being caught up in a customary altercation after five minutes with the Bath 7 (who would prove to be a continued source of chiropractic headaches that afternoon) the Bath backs took advantage of the Chiros’ temporary distraction to score a breakout try from their own 22.

Some curious refereeing seemed to be the order of the day, sadly not for the first time this season. This first reared its ugly head when Alan Ryan sliced open the Bath defence only for the opposition to infringe deep in their own 22, and the advantage seeming to disappear into thin air, which was a bit crap.

On 21 minutes, Dan Pollard’s deceptive turn of pace opened up an overlap down the right wing, the ball coming to Callum Forrest, only for the big man to put his bloody boot on it! But wait! With a cry of “oh yes!”, Forrest set off in hot pursuit of the ball, seemingly causing the Bath full back to temporarily lose control of his faculties in the face of his looming destruction at the hands of the AECC’s very own not-so-gentle giant (Callum’s favourite word? “Vicious”). Forrest then picked up the bobbling ball and dotted down for the greatest try he’d ever scored, at least until later on. Pollard converted to make it 7-7.
However, if you thought the tide was turning, think again. Despite having the better of the game, an incisive backs move from Bath carved the AECC defence apart. As if 14-7 wasn’t bad enough,a few minutes later a chip and chase from the oldest-looking man I’ve ever seen in a University rugby match (except for the venerable Angelo Battiston) chipped and chased, and got the spawniest ounce imaginable, completely wrong-footing the hapless Ricky Davis to leave a short stroll under the posts. 21-7, and the Chiros were reeling.
Bath continued to ride their luck when Dean Matthews was harshly punished for a fantastic hit with the last action of the half. Bath slotted the resultant penalty kick to take a 24-7 halftime lead.
Some fantastic input from the sideline management of Mike Richards and Liam McMahon was to inspire a comeback some have called “Lazarus-esque” in the second half.
It all started, as many things do, with a fight. Alan Ryan, presumably taking his inspiration from Richards’ rather improbable earlier pitch invasion (to politely talk to that Bath 7 chap), became embroiled in a brutal pushing and shoving exchange with resulted in two yellow cards.

Ryan’s departure triggered all sorts of scoring for the AECC. First of all, Callum Forrest appears to have gotten big ideas with his kicking. From a shody bath lineout, Forrest “soccered it on” to regather the ball just in time to fall over the tryline in the corner. Pollard struggled from the sideline, missing as he did to leave the score at 24-12.
Just three minutes later, Matt Bateman’s scavenging instincts from the back of the lineout, opened a gaping hole for him to break, before releasing the ball through the hands for Ricky Davis to dive over in the corner. Pollard again missed from his least favourite corner; 24-17.
A stolen scrum on 56 minutes had Dean Matthews break and come agonisingly slose to scoring, but the Chiros would not have to wait long. Continued pressure gave the AECC a lineout just five metres out, the resultant drive enabling Callum Forrest to complete his hat-tick in frankly disappointing style given the nature of his previous scores. Pollard was on hand to tie the game at 24-24 with his trusty boot.
With 20 minutes left to go and the AECC seemingly in unstoppable form, Bath reintroduced my new least favourite person: the dreaded No.7. Cue 20 minutes of tense stuff as neither team gave an inch. Since nothing sums up the feeling of losing their first ever league game better than the notes on this reporter’s phone, I shall leave them in the match report in their original format. Needless to say, the winning kick was the last action of the game.

79 mins pen on aecc 10. Slotted. Gutted. 24-27.

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