Bath Spa University 1st XV 5
AECC RFC 44
Next week (Wednesday 4th November) is the unbeaten AECC RFC's first home match of the season at Chapel Gate Sports Club. With the AECC Football Club also in action, come support the guys and party in the Toggler's in the evening!
Enough advertising, on with the report! With the local weatherman (Ben Rutter) forecasting rain - and lots of it - the Chiros travelled to Bath Spa University for a match against higher-league opposition in this first-round cup match. The unbeaten AECC were up against a winless Bath Spa 1st XV, though without Simon Tottle's considerable presence in the midfield and Mike Richards struggling to fight off his widdle cold - they would have to be on their guard for this potential banana skin.
The boys started brightly in front of their travelling support (thanks to Fiona and Mr Collier Snr) and within two minutes had opened their account with oh-my-god-it-just-bloody-had-to-be-him Tom Waller. A couple of minutes later and your hero was at it again, sniffing out an opportunity and taking advantage of a great passage of play from the Chiros to flop over for his third try of the season. But Waller couldn't leave it there, no. He had to go and try to better himself. From an admittedly impressive break, making great strides toward the Spa tryline, this reporter imagines Iaiaiaiaian Cromsy's fateful words ringing in Waller's ears as he spontaneously became broken in a twist that no-one could have seen coming. And he didn't get his hat-trick.
So on came old college friend Spuddy in his wake. Fortunately, Mr. President's departure didn't seem to interrupt the Chiros' momentum, as they quickly responded with a try which the referee tells us was scored, and the score would support that, but we can't remember who it was. It was a jolly good try though.
Wednesday was a good day for Clive Hurkett. Not only was it his housemate's birthday, but he also made quite a nice job of playing on the wing. So much so, that he earned himself the man of the match vote from his team-mates. After some good interplay from skips and Richards down the shirt side, Clive made an outstanding break which almost lead to a try. He was not done there though - his appetite had merely been whetted. So it was to everyone's delight when good use of an overlap in the Spa 22 gave brave little Clive the perfect opportunity to crash over for his maiden AECC try in the corner.
By this point, it seemed that charismatic coach Joseph-Athow Frost had tired of playing creator on his birthday of all days. Frost saw his chance and got himself on the scoresheet with a characteristic "Maori Sidestep" manouevre before switching on the diesel afterburners - the boy's got legs like traction engines! Fortunately this one was somewhat near the posts so Jonny Collier, freed of the shackles of kicking uphill, managed to slot it. A small ripple of applause followed.
At this point Mike Richards, or "the invisible man" as he had been known until that point, made his long-overdue departure to make way for 5-minute Falco. Rain man Ben Rutter was unlucky not to be awarded a try (because he did actually score a try) by the truly cretinous referee but on reflection maybe it was for the best - he would of only got all excited and that.
The Chiros' last try before the half came from songstress, bearded man and all round good egg, the man with two names, Ryan Alan. Last week's man of the match took a wonderfully-weighted inside pass from Jonny Collier before putting his head down and letting his facial hair do the talking, taking several helpless Spa players with him beneath the posts.
Mostly because of all the tries and bantah (OI OI) I haven't yet really hinted at the scale of the referee's ineptitude, though from this point on it was to dominate the game. However, the Chiros could have no complaints when he sin binned Spud just before the half time whistle for irresponsible use of the knee. Half time, 34-0 to the Chiros.
The second half, for the most part, was a fu....major disappointment for the seemingly rudderless AECC. Bad turned to worse as continued pressure from Spa saw the Chiros consistenyl offend at the breakdown, the referee finally losing his patience and singling out Guytan Falco. Shortly afterwards, birthday boy Crallum Forrest's popularity with referees continued its seemingly terminal decline when he was absurdly yellow carded for what was a free kick offence. You know, when it actually was an offence. You know, FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.
Still, the 12 men of AECC held strong in defence, the occasional excellent clearing kick from "Captain Liability" Matt Bateman and Collier only temporarily stemming the tide. Eventually the hull was breached for the first time this season - or so it seemed - when Spa crashed over for a try that was given, though in the words of Strooan Brooooon, it was something of a "questionable effort", seemingly dropping the ball over the line. Mr Collier Snr was incensed by this, and had to be restrained. That was a bit weird.
But the fun was not over yet. Collier Jnr was still to pick up the AECC's fourth yellow card of the day, being ridiculously sin binned for some imaginary offence. This offence was deemed so abhorrent by the referee that he even banished Collier to the sidelines for 13 minutes, rather than the regulation 10! I'm sure that taught Collier a lesson!!
It was time to send in the cavalry. Iaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaian Cromsy and Jim Holman were sent on in place of Dizzee and the unfortunate Falco. This seemed to steady the ailing ship somewhat, and if Crazy Legs Holman's first try wasn't enough to kill the Spa spirit, then the second one made sure. Final score Chiros 44-5 Spa.
Man of the match, from a distinguished field (Dean Matthews, Ben Rutter) went to Clive Hurkett, and although Dick of the Day wasn't decided upon, I think we were all thinking the same thing.
Thanks to this emphatic win, the Chiros have earnt themselves a place in the last 32 of the British Universities and Colleges Sports Western Conference Cup on the 18th of November at the University of Plymouth.
Quote of the day: "You don't get points for water, Falco!" - an exasperated Jonny Collier
AECC RFC: Not bad for a team with Ben Rutter in
AECC RFC 44
Next week (Wednesday 4th November) is the unbeaten AECC RFC's first home match of the season at Chapel Gate Sports Club. With the AECC Football Club also in action, come support the guys and party in the Toggler's in the evening!
Enough advertising, on with the report! With the local weatherman (Ben Rutter) forecasting rain - and lots of it - the Chiros travelled to Bath Spa University for a match against higher-league opposition in this first-round cup match. The unbeaten AECC were up against a winless Bath Spa 1st XV, though without Simon Tottle's considerable presence in the midfield and Mike Richards struggling to fight off his widdle cold - they would have to be on their guard for this potential banana skin.
The boys started brightly in front of their travelling support (thanks to Fiona and Mr Collier Snr) and within two minutes had opened their account with oh-my-god-it-just-bloody-had-to-be-him Tom Waller. A couple of minutes later and your hero was at it again, sniffing out an opportunity and taking advantage of a great passage of play from the Chiros to flop over for his third try of the season. But Waller couldn't leave it there, no. He had to go and try to better himself. From an admittedly impressive break, making great strides toward the Spa tryline, this reporter imagines Iaiaiaiaian Cromsy's fateful words ringing in Waller's ears as he spontaneously became broken in a twist that no-one could have seen coming. And he didn't get his hat-trick.
So on came old college friend Spuddy in his wake. Fortunately, Mr. President's departure didn't seem to interrupt the Chiros' momentum, as they quickly responded with a try which the referee tells us was scored, and the score would support that, but we can't remember who it was. It was a jolly good try though.
Wednesday was a good day for Clive Hurkett. Not only was it his housemate's birthday, but he also made quite a nice job of playing on the wing. So much so, that he earned himself the man of the match vote from his team-mates. After some good interplay from skips and Richards down the shirt side, Clive made an outstanding break which almost lead to a try. He was not done there though - his appetite had merely been whetted. So it was to everyone's delight when good use of an overlap in the Spa 22 gave brave little Clive the perfect opportunity to crash over for his maiden AECC try in the corner.
By this point, it seemed that charismatic coach Joseph-Athow Frost had tired of playing creator on his birthday of all days. Frost saw his chance and got himself on the scoresheet with a characteristic "Maori Sidestep" manouevre before switching on the diesel afterburners - the boy's got legs like traction engines! Fortunately this one was somewhat near the posts so Jonny Collier, freed of the shackles of kicking uphill, managed to slot it. A small ripple of applause followed.
At this point Mike Richards, or "the invisible man" as he had been known until that point, made his long-overdue departure to make way for 5-minute Falco. Rain man Ben Rutter was unlucky not to be awarded a try (because he did actually score a try) by the truly cretinous referee but on reflection maybe it was for the best - he would of only got all excited and that.
The Chiros' last try before the half came from songstress, bearded man and all round good egg, the man with two names, Ryan Alan. Last week's man of the match took a wonderfully-weighted inside pass from Jonny Collier before putting his head down and letting his facial hair do the talking, taking several helpless Spa players with him beneath the posts.
Mostly because of all the tries and bantah (OI OI) I haven't yet really hinted at the scale of the referee's ineptitude, though from this point on it was to dominate the game. However, the Chiros could have no complaints when he sin binned Spud just before the half time whistle for irresponsible use of the knee. Half time, 34-0 to the Chiros.
The second half, for the most part, was a fu....major disappointment for the seemingly rudderless AECC. Bad turned to worse as continued pressure from Spa saw the Chiros consistenyl offend at the breakdown, the referee finally losing his patience and singling out Guytan Falco. Shortly afterwards, birthday boy Crallum Forrest's popularity with referees continued its seemingly terminal decline when he was absurdly yellow carded for what was a free kick offence. You know, when it actually was an offence. You know, FIFTEEN YEARS AGO.
Still, the 12 men of AECC held strong in defence, the occasional excellent clearing kick from "Captain Liability" Matt Bateman and Collier only temporarily stemming the tide. Eventually the hull was breached for the first time this season - or so it seemed - when Spa crashed over for a try that was given, though in the words of Strooan Brooooon, it was something of a "questionable effort", seemingly dropping the ball over the line. Mr Collier Snr was incensed by this, and had to be restrained. That was a bit weird.
But the fun was not over yet. Collier Jnr was still to pick up the AECC's fourth yellow card of the day, being ridiculously sin binned for some imaginary offence. This offence was deemed so abhorrent by the referee that he even banished Collier to the sidelines for 13 minutes, rather than the regulation 10! I'm sure that taught Collier a lesson!!
It was time to send in the cavalry. Iaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaiaian Cromsy and Jim Holman were sent on in place of Dizzee and the unfortunate Falco. This seemed to steady the ailing ship somewhat, and if Crazy Legs Holman's first try wasn't enough to kill the Spa spirit, then the second one made sure. Final score Chiros 44-5 Spa.
Man of the match, from a distinguished field (Dean Matthews, Ben Rutter) went to Clive Hurkett, and although Dick of the Day wasn't decided upon, I think we were all thinking the same thing.
Thanks to this emphatic win, the Chiros have earnt themselves a place in the last 32 of the British Universities and Colleges Sports Western Conference Cup on the 18th of November at the University of Plymouth.
Quote of the day: "You don't get points for water, Falco!" - an exasperated Jonny Collier
AECC RFC: Not bad for a team with Ben Rutter in
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