AECC RFC 41
Bristol Uni IV 0
Hello to all you fans of the rugby team (yes – both of you)
Last Wednesday the Bristol university 4th XV gamely turned up at Chapel Gate with only 17 players, and no front row. So firstly, big hand to them. Once again, the Chiros were looking to extend their unbeaten run in the league, and build on a scrappy return from the Christmas break against Exeter last week. The boys started very brightly, with a driving maul from a lineout giving Mike Richards the easiest of scores. As is frequently the case, though, the AECC team started to rest on their laurels – an early warning sign of the nonchalance which was to plague them throughout the game. Bristol almost hit back right away, forcing the Chiros into conceding a penalty. Fortunately, their woeful kicking (see previous Bristol match report for full details) meant that the opportunity sailed harmlessly wide.
For a long while, errors dictated a scrappy game, with the AECC in the ascendancy purely on the strength and viciousness of their defensive efforts, with several huge hits flying in. The boys achieved something of a breakthrough when lock-cum-flanker The Horne put some beautiful footwork on the end of several good phases to touch down under the posts, creating an easy conversion for “captain liability” Matthew Bateman to slot. On reflection, the impetus for this bit of play may have come from the “manly speech” given by Coach Frost on 12 minutes and noted in Tom Faulkner’s match scribbling.
More laboured and error-strewn play was to cost the Chiros though the remainder of the first half, though one particularly useful pattern of play was finished some beautiful handling, with Callum Forrest the beneficiary, with Bateman again converting. Tom Waller was to celebrate the score with a cartwheel, only to be castigated by Richards, but more on this later. Half-time arrived with the score at 19-0, and coach Joe Frost in nearly as ornery a mood as he would be at full-time. The boys were told, in no uncertain terms, to up their game.
The boys duly upped their game. What followed was a 20-minute period which effectively killed the game and Bristol’s spirit. First to notch a score was wing convert Clive Hurkett, who continued his scintillating run of form finishing off a move which is fast becoming an AECC tradition. From the base of a scrum, a Richards pick went into the hands of superb Arts Institute debutant Harvey Balls, who drew the defence beautifully to send in young Clive untouched.
One man you may not have heard a lot about recently is Ninja Tots. That’s because he has been injured recently, calling into question the club’s assumption that he is in fact a machine. Anyway, he’s back now and has never looked less mortal than when fielding a kick, and appearing to run directly at the Bristol defence, only for them to very politely move out of his way. Tots 5-0 Bristol. More pressure from the Chiros left them pressing hard deep in the Bristol 22, where aforementioned debutant Harvey Balls ducked underneath the close defence to dot down. This particular score was notable for Mike Richards’ shameless celebrations, much to the disdain of his team-mates, but more on that later.
By this point, the score was 34-0 and all thought s of the game as a contest were long since dismissed. With 20 minutes left to go, it was left to weatherman Ben Rutter to put a cap on the game with a bulldozing try from short range, with Bateman again converting. As the game petered out, the college clearly took their collective foot off the gas, at one point even leaving a Bristol try to go begging when they dropped on with the tryline imminent. This was not enough to stop the now customary rubbish banter from the opposition, with such withering insults as “You’re just a simpleton, aren’t you” and a bit of pushing and shoving thankfully counting for no points in the game of rugby.
At the final whistle the score was 41-0, though was immediately followed by a savage bollocking from Coach Frost, which was perhaps a bit harsh in hindsight, although he is right – we should be more dignified when taking teams apart even though we’re not trying very hard. On that note, the rarely-awarded Dick of the Day went to the sanctimonious Mike Richards, who often quite rightly chastises people for crude celebrations, made a fool of himself following H-Balls’ try. Trust me, he is suitably ashamed of himself, and let’s hope the punishment he will endure stinks as much as his hypocrisy.
To finish on a positive (because it feels nicer – just ask the boys), Man of the Match this week was a complete no-brainer. With many other names grabbing tries and big hits, Dean Matthews earned the votes from his team-mates with a truly outstanding performance in every department, doing the hard work for 80 minutes which allows the rest of the team to do the pretty stuff. Big hand, Deano.
This week, the boys take a minibus of supporters to Glamorgan University, still hoping to maintain their 100% record in the league. They currently sit 5 points clear of their nearest rivals.
AECC RFC: Not bad for a bunch of ****s
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